The ASS
by Scyler
Summary: A story about the A.S.S.  the American Soul Society  coming to visit the J.S.S.  the Japanese Soul Society . Warning, randomness ensues. Cowritten by silverwolfdances
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so my friend Ray and I randomly came up with this…..**

**We don't own Bleach, Tite Kubo does.**

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><p>I groaned. My head was pounding and my ears were ringing. Someone was shaking me. I swatted at them blindly. It was dark, and I couldn't see anything. Oh. Wait. My eyes were closed. Duh. I blinked my eyes open, and saw someone standing above me.<p>

"Hello?" I croaked.

"Captain Martinez! Thank goodness, you're awake!" I groaned again. It was my overly peppy Lieutenant, Henry Jacobson.

"Henry, what are you doing in my room?" I yawned sleepily. He sighed.

"My apologies, Captain Martinez, but you asked me to wake you up 10 minutes before the meeting." Oh. Right. The meeting. Head Captain Foxx had called a meeting for 3:00 today. It was probably just another boring meeting…

SLAP!

"GODDAMMIT, JACOBSON! THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" I yelled. Henry shrank back.

"You…you also told me to not let you sleep in…and you fell asleep again!" I sighed and got out of bed.

"Thanks, Henry. I'm good. You can leave now." He nodded and left the room. I yawned as I put on clothes, brushed and braided my hair, brushed my teeth, and strapped my sword, a dagger in its sealed form, onto my left arm. I walked outside, and nodded at my lieutenant, who was standing next to the door. We walked casually over to the Meeting Hall in the First Division. We met Astral Seto, Captain of Division 10, on our way there. We hugged, and chatted casually until we arrived. Then Astral and I parted ways, and went to stand in our designated spots. We waited for the meeting to begin. Right at 3:00, Head Captain Foxx strolled into the room. She sat down on the large chair at the front of the room, and beamed at us all.

"Comrades!" she said in her young, childish voice, "I have been contacted by the Japanese Soul Society! They are preparing for an upcoming battle with a traitorous ex-captain. In order to defeat him and his comrades, however, they are in need of 4 high ranking officials. Seeing as we are currently at peace, we agreed to send over 3 high ranking officials. I want Captains Martinez and Seto, along with Lieutenant Schwartz, to go and assist our allies. Am I understood?" Astral, Laura and I nodded. The Head Captain beamed. "Good. You are to leave in 90 minutes. You must bring anything you wish to have with you for however long of a period you spend in the JSS! You are dismissed." We bowed, and ran off to go prepare for the long trip ahead.

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><p><em>Let's see…clothes, shoes, hairbrush, toothbrush, iPod, headphones, laptop, drawing and painting supplies, notebooks, camera, DS, DS games, guitar, books, and…ah! My cell phone! Can't forget that!<em> I nodded. Yep! I had everything that I would need for my stay in the JSS. I picked up my bag, and walked over to meet the others in a clearing where the senkaimon would be opened. All of the Captains and Lieutenants were there, including Henry. I gave him a gentle hug, tears beginning to form in my eyes.

"Take good care of my Division, you hear?" Henry nodded and saluted me. I saluted him back. They opened the senkaimon, and Astral, Laura, and I walked up to it. Head Captain Foxx stood next to us.

"I want a weekly report, okay?" We nodded. She smiled, and gave us all a hug, before ushering us into the senkaimon. "Good luck!" she called. I turned around, waved, and watched as the door closed. I turned around, moved to the front of the group, and lead the way to the JSS.

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><p><strong>PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE YOU GUYS! PLEASE TELL US IF YOU WANT MORE!<strong> **AND GO CHECK OUT RAY'S ACCOUNT! IT'S silverwolfdances**


	2. Chapter 2

After parting ways with Samira and Laura I returned to my room. Grabbing my large messenger bag from its place by the front door I started packing. As I passed my mirror I gave myself a quick once over; I was wearing my usual outfit accompanied by my choker saying what my position was. My bare feet, however, were probably going to be strange so I decided to pack a pair of flip flops.

"Drawing and writing stuff, laptop, PSP, DS, DS and PSP games, iPhone, head phones, clothes, hairbrush and tooth brush." Nodding to myself I glanced at the clock; I still had an hour left before I was supposed to be at the meeting place. Sighing I went off to find my lazy-assed lieutenant Ryouko.

He was a good lieutenant but he really like to laze about. Relaxing a little I probed out within his my Reiatsu. He was in his favorite place; the game room. Using my flash step I was there in a few moments. As I came in something flew at the right side of my head.

"WOAH!" I cried, flinching back.

Ryouko was standing to the right of the door holding onto a large baseball bat. The look on his face said that he had not been expecting me to walk through the door like I did. I glared at him and he sheepishly put the bat down with a goofy grin on his face. Right now I could tell that he was just trying to save face. After what he just did there was bound to be a long lecture and some kind of chore to do for a week or so.

"Why did you do that? You know I'm blind in my right eye. Why?" I asked folding my arms across my chest.

"I thought you were someone else, Captain. That's all." He mumbled scratching the back of his head while staring at the ground.

"You really need to pay more attention to your surroundings, Ryouko. If I hadn't been as focused as I was you could have seriously hurt me." I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and index finger.

"Sorry…" he mumbled in a soft voice.

With a soft laugh I told him to relax and that he was going to be in charge of our division for a while. He looked up and stared at me for a moment in bewilderment. Nodding I started walking out of the room. Quick footsteps told me that he was following close behind me. Glancing back over my left shoulder I noticed his dark blue eyes grow even darker with concern.

Shaking my head I started heading toward Laura's room. Ryouko was still following me by the time I got there and he almost bumped into me when I stopped. Again I glared at him over my shoulder and he scratched the back of his head as he apologized. Looking back I knocked on the door. A voice echoed from within the room.

"Who the fuck is it?"

"It's Astral Seto, Captain of Division Ten!" I replied putting my hands on my hips.

"Shit!" was the reply and there were a few small crashes followed by more cursing before the door swung open.

Laura Schwartz stood in the doorway dressed as she normally would in a tank-top showing her flat stomach, short shorts, wiled-assed knee socks and bright pink Converse tennis shoes. Her short, blond hair was a mess but her face showed that she was sorry about the way that she was sorry about the way she spoke to me.

"Sorry about that, Captain. What's up?" she asked leaning against the door frame.

"Well, what's up is that it's almost time to meet up with Samira and head off to the JSS. Are you ready?" I replied cocking an eyebrow and putting my hands on my hips.

"Oh! Yeah. I'm ready. Just let me get my things really quickly!" Laura said as she disappeared back into her room.

I sighed at the large amount of cursing and the noises that rose from the room. Ryouko gave me a nervous look and I gave him one in return that said 'Do you want to become captain right now?' His eyes widened as he got my meaning and shook his head. After a few more moments of listening to God knows what and Laura's cursing she reappeared in the door frame lugging a large pink suitcase full to bursting.

"Shall we go, Captain?" she asked brightly.

"Yeah…" I mumbled turning away again grateful that I was not her captain.

We moved off quickly despite Laura's load. We soon reached the meeting place and were greeted by the other captains and their lieutenants. Samira was saluting her lieutenant, Henry, when we walked up. I gave Ryouko a quick salute of my own before turning to the Senkaimon.

"I want a weekly report, ok?" Head Captain Foxx told us as we stepped up to the Senkaimon.

We nodded and she hugged all of us quickly. She then ushered us all into the Senkaimon.

"Good luck!" she called out as we all turned and waved.

The door closed in front of us with a soft click. Samira turned around and took the lead. The JSS was about to be taken by storm. I just hope they were ready for this kind of storm.


End file.
